The Terrible Threes

I am really struggling with dealing with the Terrible Threes.  The twos weren't so bad.  Jack was born a week after Carter turned two years old.  Yes, we had some tantrums, but they were generally logical in why they were occurring: told not to do something, tired, or hungry. 
The threes have been much more intense.  The good times are amazing.  Carter is so smart in pretty much anything relating to science and engineering.  He can understand and explain concepts so beyond his 3.5 years of life.   His memory is also pretty amazing.  He can remember things that we did when he was only a year old including small details like where we sat in church or what someone was wearing.  Carter loves school, learning, and his teacher, Miss Annie.   He can be very sweet and loving to Jack and others. 
On the other side, the bad times are really bad.  We are really struggling with some behavior issues at home (no issues at school).  In the last couple days, he has drawn on the couch, wall, and curtains with crayons, covered the couch and carpet with moisturizer, and peed on his brother's bed (on purpose).  I can understand curiosity, but none of these misbehaviors were first time offenses. 
The tantrums have been our other major issues.  They are frequent and can be set off by pretty much anything.  Something as simple as not having the right color milk glass can cause a melt down.  He has improved greatly in the last few months in his ability to express his feelings using words, but coming up with solutions to problems is still a struggle. 

I've been meaning to read Raising Your Spirited Child Rev Ed: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic for quite awhile.  It has been recommended to me by friends and ECFE teachers as a great parenting resource quite a few times.  But as a parent of small children, I don't get a whole lot of time to read.  So after the last couple weeks being extremely challenging, I decided that I couldn't wait any longer to read this book. 
I've only read the first few chapters, but already I'm feeling like I really should have picked up this book earlier.  I am excited to learn how to be a better parent to Carter.